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"The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water." Coming right up," the bartender says.As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"The old woman replies,"Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue." OLD" IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot."OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door."OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face."OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along."OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police."OLD" IS WHEN..."Getting a little action" means you. " "Brad has a friend who is a fashion director and he is going to get him to use me." "Brad knows an Art Director at So and So magazine and he is going to get me in."And then one night she didn't come home. When she dashed in the next day she looked guilty as hell and couldn't meet his eyes. "The shoot last night ran late so I crashed on Brad's couch. Got to run. See you tonight." She grabbed some clothes and then was gone.That night she fucked him damned near blind, but there was an elephant in the room that they both pretended they didn't see. Things were strained between them for several months and then just as they seemed to be getting back together the issue of Playboy came out and it seemed that everyone on campus bought a copy and wanted Kelly to personally autograph it.There were a series of "autograph parties" that he was somehow never told about until it was too late for him to attend. She would come home from those parties and hurry into the shower. She would tell him that.
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